so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
