god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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