I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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