So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
