Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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