Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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