Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
