You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
