I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think I am morally bankrupt
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
