chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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