speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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