who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
