Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
