shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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