Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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