and she was petting her beer can
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
