We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
