First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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