I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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