he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
