did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
