also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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