oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
