You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
