We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
