it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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