How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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