He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
