I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
