I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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