Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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