Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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