You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
