I think scott just propositioned me for sex
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
