His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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