You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
