I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
