Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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