The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
