4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
