I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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