wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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