I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
