quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
