I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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