Christians are straight up FREAKS
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
