Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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