if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
