we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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