i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
