Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize